Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
