She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
