the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
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I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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