He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
