She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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