doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
