I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize