he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
you never un-have a 4some
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
