I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
