Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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