It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.