You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
oh god the rape fog is back!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
