Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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