nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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