im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
