I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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