things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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