I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
