Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Bring me that man meat
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
