wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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