I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Small penises have feelings too.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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