Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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