Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
