Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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