Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
