My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
