By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
