i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize