honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
