I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
