yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
