All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just want to make out with him forever
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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