OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
