Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize