he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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