You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
