but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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