I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
