I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
