it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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