i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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