he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
