about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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