I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together