i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
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He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
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On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.