Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.