It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
