meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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