You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
