Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
handjob tips. give me some.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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