i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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