sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
