Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
