new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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