The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
