on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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