her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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