It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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