I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
