'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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