I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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